Complaint department

Complaining Like Americans

Substitute teaching survival English: The topic was returns, complaints, refunds, and exchanges, stuff like that. I…

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decimals

Decimal Dummy

On Sunday, The New York Times Metro section featured a giant profile of my pal Hackett.…

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Manolo Blahnik shoes--NOT the ones in the story

It’s All About the Shoes

In Soho recently I was attacked by a “Going Out of Business” sale. I hadn’t bought…

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nose

The Smell

The Smell must have started between 10:00 p.m. Saturday night and 3:30 a.m. Sunday morning. It…

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Planet Venus

Venus

The F train has a section in Brooklyn that runs outside on elevated tracks. My train…

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Bernie Goetz

Subway Shooting

When I was a kid one time in the playground someone started shooting at us. We…

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note from security

Please Wait To Rob This Bank

NYC subway token

Tokens

When the subway fare went up from $1.25 to $1.50, the Transit Authority issued a new…

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paper towels

Moral Dilemma

Living in New York is expensive. It’s not Tokyo or Zurich expensive, but it’s more expensive,…

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