Chooze Something Else

Posted on April 15th, 2012 by Viveca in Gallimaufry

Who the hell puts cream cheese in ice cream? Cream cheese is okay. Cheesecake is okay. Cheesecake ice cream? Blech. Tastes like sour milk. Tonight’s culprit pulled a marketing trick that would have left a sour taste in my mouth even if the ice cream hadn’t.

Doesn’t this sound delicious?

Chozen All-Natural Ice Cream: Ronne’s Rugelach Cinnamon Ice Cream with Homemade Apricot Rugelach

Unfortunately that’s as far as I had read when I bought it. I like rugelach and apricots. I love cinnamon and ice cream. Sounded great.

The description I hadn’t read is on the back of the pint:

Rugelach translates to ‘little twist’ in Yiddish. So here’s our twist on Ronne Fisher’s a.k.a. mom’s family-famous rugelach. We’ve swirled her actual rugelach made with chopped walnuts and golden raisins into a cinnamon ice cream

Aren’t those already enough flavors/ingredients? Probably too much for some people. Let’s see; I would expect that to contain: cinnamon, pastry pieces, walnuts, raisins, and presumably apricot jam, since that’s an ingredient in apricot rugelach.

But wait! Notice that missing period at the end of my quote? I didn’t finish. Here’s the full last sentence:

We’ve swirled her actual rugelach made with chopped walnuts and golden raisins into a cinnamon ice cream flavored with fresh cream cheese and apricot jam.

I am known for liking a lot of ingredients. I always put too many ingredients in my salads. I love many strong, strange flavors. But it’s not for nothing that every culture seems to have its own cliché about the drop that overflows the bucket or the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Cream cheese? It wasn’t even a drop or a straw. That ice cream was overwhelmingly sour. Anyway, nobody puts cream cheese on rugelach!

Here’s what that label should have said:

This sour milk-tasting product may have been produced in a factory that processes delicious ice-cream ingredients such as cinnamon, apricot, pastry, raisins, and walnuts, but they will be virtually undetectable in this product.

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