Take My Sheets… Please!

Posted on November 11th, 2012 by Viveca in New York Stories

I got some new sheets as a gift and decided to offer my old ones free on Craigslist:

Queen-sized sheets (Williamsburg)

Three sets queen-sized sheets, some pillowcases. Old, used, and stained but clean and un-ripped.

Three people responded. One of them wrote this:

Where in williamsburg

I wrote back my exact full address and added:

I can be here to meet you almost any time before 5pm today, tomorrow, or Sunday, just let me know when. But none of the subways near here are running.

I’m waiting to hear back from a few other people. First one to commit and come gets them.

Email or text: [my telephone number].

Let me know.


This was right after Hurricane Sandy, which is why the trains weren’t running, but maybe she had a car or was within walking distance.I was hoping she’d call and come right over.

Here’s her entire response:

I can do tommorow i live very close

By the time I got the email, it was tomorrow. I’d already sent my address, so I was a little concerned she might just show up. The buzzer is broken, and I wanted to be sure I would be there to let her in. I wrote right back:

As I said, please tell me when you will be here. Today or tomorrow before 5pm would be best. Thank you.


Four hours later she changed the plan.

Ok i could make it tommorow  sunday     so where do i meet up with u     thk u

What? I thought she was coming today, and I already sent the address. Plus, this was our fifth email already. I couldn’t take it anymore:

Hi [Name],

Why is this so hard? When you keep being vague and not answering my questions, it makes me nervous that you’re not going to show up. This shouldn’t take this many emails to set up!

1. You asked where to meet, but I already  sent you the address. It’s still in the email thread below.

2. You didn’t say a time when I asked you to say when. “Tomorrow” is not specific enough (plus, yesterday you said “tomorrow” about today!).

Okay, final answers.

Sunday, November 4, 11am.
Please remember that Daylight Saving Time ends tonight.

Call when you get here: [number], and I will come out to meet you.

See you tomorrow.


I was hoping that if I set a time and place, she’d agree to it even though I had reprimanded her, but I knew I was being harsh, and I can’t say I was surprised by her answer:

Ok sorry just forget it  keep ur blankets buy    n control ur attitude

For once in my life I resisted writing back, but what I really wanted to say was:

Blankets?! All this time and effort and you didn’t even know what you were asking for? I said sheets!

Three days later I brought the sheets to Harlem and handed them to a very nice young man who had just moved into a new home. I hope they serve him well.

3 Comments on “Take My Sheets… Please!”

  1. David

    Like so many things, Craig’s List is full of wondrousness and rot.

  2. Viveca

    That was a super-diplomatic comment; I may have been both, trying to give her something and then apparently and inadvertently making it too hard for her to get.

  3. Al Cabal

    You could’ve gotten SERIOUS money for those sheets if you’d left them unwashed and offered them at FetLife or some other kinko-pervo website.

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